coming back....SOON!!!

its been 10 months! i dont know how we managed to make it happen! this 10 months has been the worst 10 months of my life! i miss home. i miss everyone back in malaysia! especially mommy and daddy! but then, gain a bunch of good friends from China!

within these months, i managed to be more independent, more money conscious, to be a better person overall! i've get to know people from all around the world.

now, i cant wait to get back home to gather around with the family! there is no better place than home. i have finally understood why. previously, i hate being at home. now, i am so eager to be at home!

to wrap up, America is the land of hope, i agree with that statement. But, also, it was an experience living in America, but certainly not the place i want to live in for the rest of my life! for work, for play, i love the states a lot! but as for the companion, the friends, the family, Malaysia is still the best! oh.. and the food!!!


so moving on... i have bought the playbook! its like the best thing ever happened to me. got the boyf another one so that we dont have to share! of course, it was his birthday present, and he paid half!

yada yada...

today when i was in college algebra class, was not so in to the subject already as i am half pass asleep. and the guy, which i really forgotten his name called up his name. and it really shocked me. i gave him a stare and continue with my work. although it may be nothing to do with me, but i am really scare seeing him again. cause things will come out as what happened few weeks ago. and i really don't like this feeling. not much people have the same name as him. and is it him that they are talking about? i dont know. frankly speaking, i do miss the days being with him. but if i had to choose again, i rather not. i have my aims in life now, that is to succeed in life.

After so long

After more than half a year i saw him. We both are so stressed up with the traffic jam till i saw mae 717 where our first date were. Our cars were side to side. And it left my heart full of questions. Memories keep flashing back. Although its just a short short time, its left me alot of memories. Sigh.

5th of january, a day to remember.. last year, i was celebrating birthday with him and made a so called surprise party.. =) today, i am only listening to some smooth jazz and blogging. i guess 2007 has been not so good.. i guess i need to think of a resolution. =)

the feeling of F-O-R-C-E-D

note *a quite emo post*
doing something you don't want to do, i hate the feeling. i really hate it. it is not nice at all. i mean, we do have choice. why force? why cant it be done in a more civilized way. why? i just don't get it. i don't want this anymore.. you have no rights to do so. no. definitely no. a plain animal that is born on earth. if you think after that you are happy with your action, you deserved to rot in hell. sorry for the harsh word. but i hate you so much more than i can think of. you dont make me love you more. you make me hate you till the end of my life. i will definitely remember what you did to me. it will all remain in my heart. i know you are reading this and laughing. you will regret for your action.

our very first date

i know its kind of funny having this relationship and stuff. but trust me, I've already got over him. being single is not a bad thing, at least it gives me time to love myself. i mean, how to love someone when i dont love myself? quoted from someone. at first, i was this girl emotional girl that wants everything my way. and mummy got me everything i want. as a teenager, i got more than anybody else. i didnt appreciate and neglected her. after this incident, i got to know how much she meant to me and how important i am to her. no one can give me this love, its unconditional love. i love her a lot. i really do. i am changing to a better person. at least to a grown up. i hope so...

back to the story... a few peps have been asking me how i got together with him. we met each other in zth. his first message for me is Hi,
This is just a friendly msg.. :regular_smile: just wanna be fren..
do u have msn?? i replied. and there goes. at the same time this guy s* was going after me. i thought that i wont be serious in both relationship. so i accepted both of them. for those who know me well, i think u understand why. he spend the whole night chatting and writting me testimonials. and i am god damn bloody touched by his action. he slept for two hours chatting with me the rest of the time. and he introduced me to his best pal, R*. so we went out the next day. he drove his car right outside my house. waited for me. at first i thought it was just a fairytale. we didnt talk much at first. but when he hold my hand, i felt the strong connection between both of us.. we went rounding the area and i was darn bored. i suggested to join the other members for TT, aka yam cha session. we sat at another table as the table is full. saw S*. his face shows jealousy. and we made a move and went rounding again... in the car. i got a few message from S*. and he messaged both of us. i felt very secure with him. we parked our car, talking and replying S* messages. hehe. we had our very first kiss there. just a normal kiss. but i m darn happy. then he sent me home. he keep messaging me and he join them for morac after that. he asked me permission to go and was messaging me all trough the night. and there goes our first date..

its been so long ago... but it had turned into memories... sweet memories.. i do appreciate all the stuff u did for me. but its time for me to fix my life back. time to appreciate my parents and not neglecting them. every relationship has a lesson to learn. i learnt my lesson.and i wont make the same mistake again. i dont blame u for anything cause i do beleive in fate and karma...