Tuesday, July 21, 2009

i dont understand

why he goes to church?
why he forces me to go church?
why he can still be so active in church?
when he ran away without telling anyone. when he left the family behind and ran away. when he neglected me as his daughter. for all this minutes. yes. i cried. but not because i am sad. maybe i was 20% SAD. and the rest is because i am angry. angry that he can hang up. angry because i became a good girl. and he cannot be one. angry because he doesn't care at all.
who am i to him? what this family meant for him? what is he thinking?
that's why i've never beleive in going to church. because there is an example living with me. someone that is good only in the face. not more than that.
He is fortunate to even have a wife like that. someone who can bare every single thing. when he quit his job because of stress. which wife will stay by and pay for everything?
i dont know.

Well, he was once the person whom i most listen to. not even my mom. i love my mom. and i know she did sacrifice a lot for me. but i somehow listen more to him. but now. sorry. you've lost my respect. respect is earned. you built up your respect for 20 years and **boom**. ruined it in 2 nights.

well, much said. till i get a reasonable explaination, i will not see you. talk to you or at times, will not even call you daddy.
i am not mean... at all. compared to what you did to us.
i am not disowning my daddy. he is my dad from the first till last day i die. but just to make things clear. he crossed the border way much further this time.
although what happened to their marriage, i couldn't care much. what i care is just to forget this thing thouroughly.

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